today’s front page “news”
1. It’s all Michael Jordan’s fault.
Tiger Woods became a self-indulgent, sex-crazed narcissist because he hung out with the wrong crowd — namely, hard-partying, high-stakes hoopsters Jordan and Charles Barkley
2. Heil, idiot.
Jesse James, posing as Nazi fiend Adolf Hitler with a German army cap on his head, raising his arm in the notorious “sieg heil” salute and mimicking the evil dictator’s mustache with two fingers.
3. The 2010 Baseball Guide
any if that doesn’t capture your attention and leave you begging for more mental stimulation, you can read about:
‘Steven Spielberg is so paranoid about security at his office, he keeps a never-used motorcycle permanently parked outside in case he needs to make a getaway, a new book about DreamWorks claims.’
‘Paul McCartney’s ex-wife, Heather Mills, broke down in tears and insisted yesterday that her former nanny doesn’t have a leg to stand on in a lawsuit accusing her of being a psychotic, imperious boss.’
just catching you up. . . !
|“The American people deserve to know that they’re not just watching the administration’s spin on their local newscasts — they’re paying for it, too.”
| Senator John Kerry
before college i had never even tasted a bagel. i’m not even sure if i knew what a bagel was. in the town where i grew up there weren’t too many jewish people or at least i didn’t know it if there were – religion was never a big topic of discussion for me. in fact, i didn’t even realize my friend from high school, debbie feldman, was jewish until i was in college and discovered that feldman was a jewish name. it was at university of hartford where i got my real education in religion. i was one of two gentiles in my freshman dorm complex. me and dagmar stadlebauer – almost everyone else’s name ended in a man, berg, stein (steen) or a stein (stine).
it was also at u-ha i met my roommate debbie weinstein. at first i never would have guessed that we would become friends. not because she was jewish – but because she wore pink sweaters with alligators on them and penny loafers. there wasn’t a whole lot of that in the sleepy town i was raised in either. we didn’t have a lot in common back then but when you live in a 10 x 10 room with 3 people you either become really good friends or really good enemies. ellen regenbogen was our enemy roommate.
debbie’s family was from boston and we often went there on weekends and jewish holidays. it was at debbie’s house that i tasted my first matzoh, discovered real chicken soup for the first time and ate my first seder meal. debbie’s dad, mort weinstein and i hit it off immediately and he took real pleasure in having a genuine ’goyum’ at the table. he would pretty much make fun of me the whole time and crack himself up in the process. while holding back her own laughter, diane, debbie’s mom, would roll her eyes at mort & tell him to stop. mort was loud and funny – and always the center of attention and called me out for everything i didn’t know about being jewish - although diane would have wished it otherwise, constantly repeating, “mort, stop!” i loved the jewish holidays with the weinsteins.
in the 20+ years since i graduated college, i’ve been to many other seders but none have been quite as colorful as the weinsteins’ because mort wasn’t there. this year the weinsteins will celebrate passover without mort.
mr. weinstein passed away in january but i will remember him at tonight’s seder and i will send love, light and good wishes to the whole weinstein family.
“Gentiles are people who eat mayonnaise for no reason.”
- Robin Williams
Stone also said that now is the season for coyote pups to be born. When they mature in the fall, they could be heading to Manhattan like so many interns looking for the bright lights of the big city.
“I think you’re going to see more in the city because there are a lot of coyotes around the city who can make their way in and get lost,” he said. “It’s got to be pretty bewildering for a coyote to get lost in the city.”
Urban coyote survival tips from wily expert Joshua Piven, co-author of “The Worst Case Scenario Survival Handbook”:
* Since climbing a tree can help you in the wild, try to scramble up a fire escape.
* Use a garbage-can lid as a shield.
* If the coyote comes at you, open up your coat wide to look bigger.
* Don’t try to run; the coyote is faster.
* If you’re sure it’s going to attack, wave a stick at it or throw a rock to scare it away.
* If you’re with a child, put him or her on your shoulders out of the coyote’s reach.
* If all else fails, point to a rat and run.
even if i never do see a coyote wandering down 73rd street, i can always turn to the post for entertainment.
i love this town.
“A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.”
- Groucho Marx
it is currently 28 degrees out.
i may have been a bit eager by doing my winter/ summer clothes switch last week but you have to admit, this is just completely unfair.
|“Such is the state of life, that none are happy but by the anticipation of change: the change itself is nothing; when we have made it, the next wish is to change again. The world is not yet exhausted; let me see something tomorrow which I never saw be”
| Samuel Johnson
The coyote had first been spotted Wednesday coming out of the Holland Tunnel at 3:52 p.m. He hardly had time to get reservations at Nobu before officers tried to hunt him down. It’s unclear if this latest coyote was a bridge-and-tunnel type who came from New Jersey, or if he’s the same coyote spotted in Central Park and Chelsea over the past few weeks, who entered the tunnel headed toward the Garden State but thought better of it and turned back.
NY Post: Read more: