happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, hanukkah – every night during this festival of lights!
May the lights of Hanukkah usher in a better world for all humankind.
May the lights of Hanukkah usher in a better world for all humankind.
it’s tourist season and midtown is over flowing with shoppers, sight-seers, celebrity seekers and tree gazers!
it’s a good thing for the city – not so much for the residents. from december through january things become all discombobulated for the locals because tourists disrupt the flow. it’s nothing that can’t be fixed and it’s not even their fault. they are simply unaware of a few simple things. when travelling into the city, i’ve noticed that at the bridge & tunnel tolls, it’s always the cars with out of state plates in the ‘cash only’ lanes – the regulars have ez-pass. i’m thinking that a small list of “instructions” printed on the back of the bridge & tunnel receipts would be a great invention because it could list the rules and then they would know. since that’s not the case, i will post them here.
don’t think – just cross the street.
crossing the street in midtown is similar to participating in a game of football. there are two sides, face to face, waiting for the ‘go ahead.’ the difference is that in midtown, each team has anywhere from 25 – 50 people on each side where in football, there are only 11 on each side. during the months of february through november, when the light says walk, the ‘teams’ advance towards each other and effortlessly manage to get to the other side of the street without knocking into anyone. they’re used to it; they don’t get nervous and foot traffic just flows. on the other hand, in december and january, i believe that during the 2-3 minute wait between light changes, tourists get super focused on the opposing team which makes them nervous. their brain begins to wonder how they will manage to cross the street through all those people about to charge towards them, and they begin to map out a strategy. as soon as the light changes, they follow their mind map. because they could never predict the mind maps of the opposing team, it turns into a giant cluster of frustrated people bumping into each other, scared they will never reach the other side safely. weird but true.
when you see a pretty store window, something shiny that catches your eye or a homeless person, do not just stop in the middle of the sidewalk. this causes mid-sidewalk collisions and then you leave the city thinking ny’ers are rude.
wear your comfy flat walking shoes or you will regret it. and know that the people in the flat comfy walking shoes are the ones who must walk on the grates. women in heels have the right of way on the sidewalk whenever a grate presents itself. there is no need to worry about falling through the grates and landing in the pathway of an oncoming subway, seriously.
It is a man’s own mind, not his enemy or foe, that lures him to evil ways.
this sure must be easier than having to pack and unpack all those boxes. . . .
Traffic is only one of the side effects of growth.
~ Roy Barnes
the upside is, i’m sure i would be rail thin if i lived in this 78 square foot apartment, since keeping food isn’t really a convenient option.
i’m just not sure the bathroom sharing thing would work for me.
The ache for home lives in all of us, the safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned.
~ Maya Angelou
this is todays view from my window. it’s a very large hole they have created on 1st avenue – right outside my bedroom. that may explain why they felt it was necessary to start jack hammering at 6:00 am.
Ayperi Alekseeva, from Kyrgyzstan, had spent years picking up hair from the carpet and eating it. She also chewed the tips of her hair.
When she finally sought medical help, doctors pulled out a hairball weighing almost 9lb. story
i don’t want to post a picture of the actual hairball on my blog so that i won’t risk seeing it again, but for the curious, you can view it here: 9lb hairball
instead, i offer you a picture of the chia pod i followed through th lincoln tunnel the other day . . . .
If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading.
~ Lao Tzu
The White House’s new security plan: Lock the front door
every time i see a headline like this i wish i worked at the new york post. it has to be fun . . . . seriously though, if the peeps in dc need some high level security tips, i suggest they just spend the week in nyc during the general assembly – which happens to be this week.
i’ve been out sniper seeking with my zoom lens since saturday and haven’t seen 1 sniper. these guys are good.
i’m not sure what the mission of these people is, but they are scattered about the sidewalks near the united nations building. they look like they have bombs strapped all over themselves and i have to believe this would effectively keep people from trying to break in to the white house.
they do not like having their pictures taken either.
another effective tactic used by the diplomats to keep people away, is extreme noise. i’m sure they do it on purpose so it must have something to do with their country’s security operations. wherever a foreign diplomat decides to go, he is preceded by and followed by, an entourage of black suburban’s with lights flashing and very loud sirens. this goes on all day long. entourages en route to the u.n. for morning meetings, entourages at lunchtime, entourages escorting their diplomat back to the hotel after daily sessions, and entourages chauffeuring diplomats all around town for dinner and nightly entertainment – all with excruciatingly loud sirens. i believe the strategy here is simple sleep deprivation. i know because i live just 3 blocks up first avenue from the united nations and i am just too tired to consider jumping the fence and breaking in the front door.
during the week of the general assembly there is no parking either. every street in the neighborhood is lined with signs like this:
if you live between 40th and 55th streets from the east river over to third avenue, you may not be able to go home if there happens to be a diplomat having a meeting, a meal or a cocktail on your street. on each corner are stationed between 6 – 12 very young rookie cops, whose mission it is to question people to death and check i.d.’s before letting them step foot onto their own block to go home after a long day at work. i’ve noticed that if you are 20 something, female and beautiful, the young rookie cops will hold you up for twice the amount of time than they detain others. just an observation that probably has nothing to do with security.
I am thankful the most important key in history was invented. It’s not the key to your house, your car, your boat, your safety deposit box, your bike lock or your private community. It’s the key to order, sanity, and peace of mind. The key is ‘Delete.’
~ Elayne Boosler
in nyc you’ll find people of all colors, shapes & sizes – animals too. since most residents ‘weekend out east‘, on sunday, i hung out with this guy in central park.
“Life was never meant to be a struggle, just a gentle progression from one point to another, much like walking through a valley on a sunny day.”
~ Stewart Wilde
in the event you were planning a vacation to the city, you may want to re-think your travel plans – or at least stay on top of this story from the post . . . . .
Help, my giant poisonous spider is missing — and she’s pregnant!
A hairy Mexican red rump tarantula named Penelope is on the loose in Park Slope. . . . “She’s mostly active at night and she tends to hide in dark corners,” . . . On the sign, the pet owner asks whoever finds her to put her in a “tupperware bowl” with holes, so she can breathe.
When you seek it, you cannot find it.
~ Zen Proverb
just like every day, i checked my phone for the temperature outside before taking ivan out for his morning stroll. it said 64 degrees. the sun was pouring in my windows. 64 & sunny . . . . it’s going to be a great day!
completely under dressed for the actual 46 degree temp outside, i arrived home a bit chilly and totally confused. i checked my phone again. 64 degrees. at first i wondered if my phone had picked up on the industrial strength warm weather thoughts i had been having for so long and was just trying to make me happy.
then i noticed that the time under the weather was displayed as 7:31 pm, rather than am, and i chalked the whole thing up to the power of my electronic disorder.
“The use of the will as the projector of mentative currents is the real base of all mental magic.”
~ William Walker Atkinson
“Where we love is home – home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts.”
~ Oliver Wendell Holmes
from the times square newsletter:
Submit your bad memories, crazy ex-bosses, loathed music, over-exposed celebrities, corrupt politicians, fashion disasters and ill-fated romances – anything from 2013 to which you’d like to say “Good Riddance!”
At the event Cintas awarded an iPad and tickets to the Broadway show Mamma Mia! for the Most Creative entry.
Pearl Chan won for saying Good Riddance to 2012 – the worst year of her life. Chan took care of her chronically ill boyfriend for 2 years only to be dumped and cheated on after he recovered.
i’m entering the contest. . . . just giving you a heads up so you don’t waste any of your own time as i’m pretty sure i am going to win this one.
“A belief is not true because it is useful.”
~ Henri Frederic Amiel
after spending a good part of the summer in upstate ny, i saw a lot of wildlife, much different than the wildlife i see in the city. the one thing i was hoping to see and didn’t, was a bear. and i really wanted to see a bear.
i’ve been spending time at my friend diane’s house in nj. she lives on 6 acres in the woods and her yard backs up to 40 more acres of wooded land. the other night around 9:00 pm, while relaxing in the living room with diane, her friend richie and her daughter, i thought i heard a car door close. when i asked if anyone else heard it, diane and her daughter instantly jumped up and yelled, “bear!” wasting no time, they ran to the garage and opened and closed the electronic doors to make noise which they hoped would scare the bear away.
while diane and katie were busy attempting to scare an unseen bear from the driveway, i opened the sliding glass doors in the kitchen and stepped out along the side of the house. assuming the bear had taken off into the woods, i was looking straight ahead into the woods and calling for the bear. i really wanted to see a bear. so that you have a clear perspective, here is the layout:
hoping to get a close up photo of the bear that i was still not convinced existed, i was holding my camera (which you may not be able to tell from the above rendering). i called for the bear several times before seeing a dark shadow moving slightly up in the woods to my right just a little bit.
i wondered, if that’s the shadow, where is the actual bear creating the shadow? i looked harder into the woods, squinting and trying to focus into the dark woods. knowing that i was very close to this shadow and presumably, the bear, my body seemed to go into “survival” mode without the help of my brain because i became extremely nervous and began to get a bit shaky, but continued to watch the slow moving shadow 20′ away and call for the bear. i could hear diane screaming, “close the door! close the door!” when her words registered in my mind, i thought of the possibility that the bear had not run into the woods, but was still around the corner from me right in the driveway. this prompted me to look to my right at which point i realized the bear was in fact not in the driveway, but standing approximately 12 feet to the right of me.
this was by far the biggest bear in america. rather than looking into the camera as he appears to be in this picture (that i lifted off the internet for obvious reasons), he was actually staring straight at me. eyeball to eyeball. his head was at least one foot higher than mine (i am 5′ 4″ tall). he was just standing there staring at me the whole time i had been calling him! i have seen a wild bear once before and i have never, ever, seen such a behemoth creature in all my life. at a speed rivaling usain bolt, i flew into the house.
it took the rest of the evening for all of us to calm down enough to switch subjects and think about anything else. diane had seen this same bear before and was relieved to know that now someone else had witnessed this particular guy, as she always thought that the people she told about ‘big bear,’ thought she may be exaggerating about his size. he was easily 900 lbs and the size of a small car.
as you can probably imagine, it was a little nerve racking for me to take ivan out after dark from then on. for the next couple of nights we stayed close to the house. diane had her spot lights replaced and now the side yard can be lit up like wrigley field.
last night i turned on every light outside and let ivan out to relieve himself around 8:30. as i waited for ivan to finish up, i thought i heard some rustling in the bushes just about 10 feet away from me. it wasn’t loud and i thought it was probably just the cat, but i interrupted ivan midstream, and yelled for him to get into the house, just in case. when i came inside, i asked diane if the cat was out, to which she answered, “no.”
i went into the kitchen and opened the blinds covering the sliding glass doors to see if anything would appear from the bushes. in the small grass area between the kitchen and the woods was a bear sauntering by and looking directly into the kitchen. he looked to be about 500 lbs. when the screaming began, he walked slowly into the woods . . .
( photoshopped bear walking by diane’s kitchen window – again, i missed the photo op, but this is what it looked like)
i never understand why people are afraid of the city. really, it’s a much less dangerous place to be.
“Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience.”
~Ralph Waldo Emerson
they won’t be back until spring and i’m missing the leaves already.
“What a person believes is not as important as how a person believes.”
~ Timothy Virkkala
strolling through central park, i found myself wondering, what has happened to the turtles?
“Everything in the universe has a purpose. Indeed, the invisible intelligence that flows through everything in a purposeful fashion is also flowing through you.”
~ Wayne Dyer
2 of my brothers volunteering at ground zero 12 years ago.
god bless every one of us.
“As for those that carried out these attacks there are no adequate words of condemnation. Their barbarism will stand as their shame for all eternity.”
–British Prime Minister Tony Blair
missing the city . . . .
although the country can be nice in the summer time, i am really missing all of the things i love about nyc. i miss central park, the
dorm-room apartment building drama, i miss my neighbors – and people in general, i miss walking to places and i miss thong man.
here is an old post i will re-read & reminisce . . . .
walking ivan tonight i ran into the opportunity i’ve waited 3 years for. i actually had my iphone camera handy when thong man came running up 2nd avenue. unfortunately he wasn’t wearing his nude pantyhose because they are way better than the black body stocking he was sporting this evening. this must be his summer outfit.
i am counting the days until august 14th when i return back to nyc – where i belong.
“Of course life is bizarre, the more bizarre it gets, the more interesting it is. The only way to approach it is to make yourself some popcorn and enjoy the show.”
i am definitely getting one of these.
“Never let life impede on your ability to manifest your dreams. Dig deeper into your dreams and deeper into yourself and believe that anything is possible, and make it happen.”
~ Corin Nemec
“I remember walking across Sixty-second Street one twilight that first spring, or the second spring, they were all alike for a while. I was late to meet someone but I stopped at Lexington Avenue and bought a peach and stood on the corner eating it and knew that I had come out out of the West and reached the mirage. I could taste the peach and feel the soft air blowing from a subway grating on my legs and I could smell lilac and garbage and expensive perfume and I knew that it would cost something sooner or later — because I did not belong there, did not come from there — but when you are twenty-two or twenty-three, you figure that later you will have a high emotional balance, and be able to pay whatever it costs. I still believed in possibilities then, still had the sense, so peculiar to New York, that something extraordinary would happen any minute, any day, any month.”
~ Joan Didion