in the several months i’ve spent in suburbia, i’ve noticed some remarkable differences from life in nyc. here are just a few:
1. in suburbia, they have hillbillies selling furniture door to door out of an 18 wheeler, similar to the one pictured below. they ring your doorbell and claim they’ve driven all the way up from tennessee, or some place like that, to deliver a shipment of furniture to a store. if you haven’t shut the door in their face (which most of the suburbanites would find just to rude to do – another subtle difference) they continue on with a story about arriving at the store only to be told the store did not have the money to pay for the shipment. then they invite you to take a look at the contents in the truck. no thank you.
2. when i took ivan to the vet, i saw an suv with a horse trailer pulling out of the parking lot. i never noticed that in the city.
3. baby deer pop out into the middle of the street all the time, every single day. and people are afraid to drive in the city??
4. in the city i could count on a friendly greeting and some small talk from at least 7 people on my 6:00 am walk with ivan. in suburbia, so far i’ve seen bunnies big & small, cardinals, blue jays, deer, chip monks, squirrels & no people.
5. even the mice are different. the mouse currently living in my kitchen only comes out at night – never to be seen. the only evidence is mouse poop all over the kitchen counter. i see it every single morning when i go in for my coffee. city mice know to poop on the floor. they are also bold enough to walk around right out in the open – even walk right over your feet (see rodents).
6. quarters. in nj people treat quarters like they’re made of copper & nickel, which they are. in ny, people treat quarters like gold. in the city, all people who make under $150,000, need quarters for laundry and parking. lots of quarters, and we collect them whenever possible. we pay with dollar bills when we have exact change, just to get quarters back. it’s a bit disappointing when store clerks give back dimes and nickels instead of quarters.
7. one could live in just about any neighborhood of the city and be within 2 or 3 blocks of organic cottage cheese. in the suburbs it’s a 10 mile drive to a store that carries just 1 brand and it’s not even the kind you want. there is no place that sells frozen yogurt. no pinkberry, not even a tasti-delite facsimile. no frozen yogurt – that’s it – none. you can’t get that here.
8. there not a vegetarian restaurant within a 4 zip code radius. (think – white plains to the seaport)
9. there is no delivery. no one delivers anything. ever.
10. in the suburbs when you ask about finding a good restaurant, people often direct you to a strip mall. i will not dine in a strip mall.