this has been bugging me for a long time now & i’m open to suggestions that may resolve this conflict. other than truly obvious exaggerations which i often use, i try to be truthful. by obvious exaggerations i mean saying things like, “i have a million things to do” or, “i feel like my head is going to explode” – you know, the silly things you say that you don’t expect people to believe. at least i don’t think anyone ever took the exploding head scenario too seriously. anyway, ever since i attended a seminar in 2000 where they made a point of pointing out how people often dishonor agreements (lie) no matter how small or seemingly insignificant, it has an effect on your integrity, i’ve been uber aware of my words. that’s not to say i’ve been impeccable with my words, but aware. i catch the lies. it’s mostly small stuff like when i tell myself i will not go to quick mart anymore for that chemical cappuccino that i love so much, and then i find myself driving to quick mart. but i am conscious of the lie. as far as knowingly speaking untruthfully to another person, well that’s a rare occasion that generally only occurs when i don’t have the presence to gracefully not answer a question they have asked when it would not be so kind to tell the truth. but i have been diligently working on that for several years and improving my diplomacy skills while remaining truthful most of the time.
here’s the dilemma. often times when you join a website, download stuff or upgrade software on the internet, an annoying little box pops up and asks you to check a box indicating that you have read and understand the terms of agreement. there have been times i have actually clicked on the terms link only to find many paragraphs of legalese – there have even been a couple of occasions when i read it. but usually i don’t bother to look and i check the box that says i read & agree to the terms when i did not. if i read and agreed to the terms on all of the webpages that i visit requiring me to check the box, i would have time for nothing else – like eating or sleeping (possible obvious exaggeration).
i could stop using the internet all together in an effort to avoid this inner conflict, but that does not seem practical. i may just have to take a speed reading class & give up eating.
“What would it be like to communicate from a part of your own self that is absolutely free from self-consciousness, that is fearless, uncorrupted, and passionately interested in the truth?”
– Andrew Cohen