celebrating today! i hope you are too – happy birthday, peter!!
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– Peter
celebrating today! i hope you are too – happy birthday, peter!!
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Posted in humor
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source: The School of Practical Philosophy
yesterday i spent a good part of the day trudging around the city in freezing cold lousy weather looking for an apartment. i completely forgot about my “happy, happy, joy, joy” mantra i intended to remember and focused on my swollen feet instead. i thought i was having a bad day – then i read this:
The man crushed under an 8,000-pound police SUV on a Long Island beach last May doesn’t understand why he still can’t get his hands on the police report nine months later. . . .
Starkman . . . told The Post he was enjoying a day off last May 26 by sunning himself face-up on Long Beach, relaxing in a chaise longue with a cooler and a radio set to a sports station.
“The next thing I realized, I’m hit by this thing. It all happened so fast,” said a tearful Starkman, 44. “It was like the hand of God. I had no idea what happened.”
Witnesses immediately yelled to Long Beach Officer Paul DeMarco to stop — that he was running over a person — but DeMarco did not see Starkman or hear the shouts. full story
“happy, happy, joy joy!”
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“I do it for the joy it brings, cause I’m a joyful girl. ‘Cause the world owes us nothing, we owe each other the world.”
– Ani Difranco
Posted in humor
Tagged apartment hunting in nyc, beach, happy, joy, run over at beach
oh the joys of finding an apartment in the city. “happy, happy, joy, joy” that will be my new mantra for the next couple of weeks no matter what anybody says to me.
i haven’t yet viewed an available apartment – mostly because all the advertised apartments are just illusions. out of the hundreds of apartments i see on craigslist and various other sites, only several actually exist. the others are already rented despite the advertisement that is 10 minutes old. but generally the person i call in response to the ad has “many others” they can show me. so why don’t they advertise those instead? also, since when is 124th street considered ‘the upper east side’? happy, happy, joy, joy. . .
in an effort to remain calm i have to decided to e-mail rather than call these peeps. i made a list of requirements for the apartment i am looking for and asked that they contact me if they have a listing that meets all the criteria. here are 2 of the responses i’ve received so far:
this e-mail was sent on wednesday to a person named jim who advertised a 1 bedroom on craigslist:
http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/abo/2218305494.html
on thursday, jim responded:
i did not respond. on friday, jim suffered an apparent memory loss and responded to my initial e-mail again:
I meant Thursday as in yesterday.
jim’s reply:
i went back to my first e-mail to jim which included the link to the apartment he advertised on craigslist to see if it was really worth having to deal with him and the page said that the ad had been “removed by the author”. so i e-mailed jim:
The posting is gone from Craigslist – Was the apt. rented?
Laurie
in response, jim wrote:
Still available. People get robbed & killed on craigslist.com. We hate it, it should be shut down. U r too young.
Jim
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here is another exchange with an agent who advertised on craigslist:
Is this a walk-up building? If so, what floor?
I’m looking to move in March. This is what I’m looking for:
No Fee, 1st or 2nd Floor or elevator , Dogs allowed, Queen sized Bedroom, Good Light, Cable ready, Heat / Hot water included, 2 closet minimum, Laundry in building, Below 100th St, 500 + sq. feet, $1700 max
Please let me know if you have anything I can see that fits. If so, would you e-mail me & let me know?
Thank you,
Laurie
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“happy, happy, joy, joy.”
– cags
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Posted in humor
Tagged 1 bedroom, bad brokers, happy happy joy joy, nyc apartments for rent
my boss gave me tickets to the westminster dog show yesterday. i went with my friend amen-ra, which is the name he was given by his parents – it means ‘sun god’ in egyptian. sometimes i just call him sun god. here are some of this years contestants:
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not surprisingly, the winner was the same as last year. take a look at the one who captured the hearts of the judges: 2010 westminster:*
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“Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.
– Groucho Marx
i have some kind of strange electronic disorder. you can read a little bit about it in a recent post i wrote here. it has not subsided even a little.
recently i gave a talk at won temple which was video taped for the website. 2 days later the temple monk e-mailed to inform me that she had no idea what could have happened, but the video camera broke and my talk was not recorded. she asked if i would be willing to come back and do it over in front of the camera? how do you explain to a monk that it has nothing to do with the camera. i don’t know if boilers count as electronic devices, but right around this time my boiler broke too.
for the 3rd time since november, my itunes crashed completely.
on saturday i had a podcast interview scheduled. when the interviewer called to begin the interview she was surprised to find that her recording equipment was not working. she called me back 3 times to start over and each time the equipment failed. since i don’t know her that well i kept quiet and resisted the urge to tell her she should simply pick another person to interview and her problems would be solved. we rescheduled for sunday.
as i left to drive into the city for temple i noticed the time on the clock in my car read 52. the time remained 52 all the way into the city but fixed itself before my drive home in the afternoon.
this morning when i woke i turned on the lights over the vanity on my way into the bathroom. with a very loud crackling noise, they all blew out. since i changed all 4 light bulbs less than 3 weeks ago, it must have been a blown fuse. i probably shouldn’t attempt to deal with the fuse box – at least until after i meditate.
the cable box clock in the living room which read 1000 again yesterday displays no time at all. today it says “hold” – a clear sign that i made the right choice about meditating first. (note: the living room & bathroom lights are on 2 completely different fuses)
after meditating, i walked ivan. we arrived home to find all 4 light bulbs on in the bathroom. on my way out of the bedroom i noticed my alarm clock which was working just fine when i woke an hour earlier, now reads 100. not 1:00, – 100. i don’t attempt to reset it because i think i will just wait & see what it may do on it’s own. i will check my e-mail instead. once online, i see a giant banner across the top of the screen of my laptop informing me that my “shockwave plug-in has crashed”.
i should make every attempt today to avoid people who may have a pacemaker.
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“One great question underlies our experience, whether we think about it or not: what is the purpose of life? From the moment of birth every human being wants happiness and does not want suffering.
– Dalai Lama
there is just one thing i will miss in nj and that is my good friend mighty man. mighty man lives on a beautiful horse farm on river road with zillions of other amazing animals including a fox and 2 border collies. he is the funniest horse on the planet. he’s generally way back in the far corner of his field snacking on a huge pile of hay when i arrive. as soon as he sees my car coming down the dirt road he gets all excited and stomps his feet. he waits for me to get out of the car and climb the small hill up to his fence. he knows i have carrots for him. we stare at each other for a while. he always waits for me to call him over. i ready my camera, brace myself and call his name (which i made up, but he seems to like). he begins to trot and then speeds up to a full gallop and i’m never sure he’s not going to break right through the fence and run me over. here he is coming over to visit:
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he has an enormous personality – he’s more like a dog than a horse. he’s also a giant ham and he loves the camera. here are just some of his recent poses:
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i plan to continue visiting mighty man even after i move, but i will miss seeing him almost every day. i will still dream about riding him one day.
“One horse-laugh is worth ten thousand syllogisms. It is not only more effective; it is also vastly more intelligent.
– Henry Louis Mencken
i want to know what’s at the end of the universe.
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“I’m only a four-dimensional creature. Haven’t got a clue how to visualise infinity. Even Einstein hadn’t. I know because I asked him.
– Patrick Moore
you remain in our hearts & our memories.
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“sometimes the healing is journeying on from this life to heaven with God and no pain.”
– Carol Moore
Posted in humor
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the post says it’s 20 degrees. that’s a 22 degree difference from bedminster, nj – i am grateful to be heading home. after 8 1/2 long months, today begins the process of the move! on the agenda for the day:
1. find a mover. i’ve done this so many times already it should go smoothly, but the truth is, shopping for a mover is kind of like shopping for a used car. if you’ve ever bargain shopped for movers, you know what i’m saying.
2. realtor to arrive at 10:00 to inspect apartment and determine market value for next renter. i hope they’re farm folks and can be very happy here.
3. get some work done to earn the funds for the move.
4. 4:30 appointment for podcast interview with cookbook author which i find hysterical since i am the worst cook in america. she promised not to ask me anything about cooking, just nutrition science and my organization. this reminds me that in the last 8 1/2 months i have not had a meal with another live human being, or that was cooked in an oven, or contained more than 1 single item like soup or asparagus and the occasional meal of cadbury eggs or a lindt bar. so looking forward to the candle cafe with friends!
5. check craigslist for a place to move to. call realtors.
6. begin box collection process and make moving checklist.
tomorrow i will go to the city & find the perfect place, sign lease and begin my
re-connection with the human race.
🙂
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“The difference between what we do and what we are capable of doing would suffice to solve most of the world’s problems”
– Mahatma Gandhi
Processors say there aren’t enough non-GE sugarbeet seeds around for farmers to plant this spring. A study conducted for the sugar industry predicted that US sugar production would plunge 20% if the judge’s ban stays in place, and it appears this study alarmed food companies enough that they were able the pressure USDA into acting now.
this is crazy on so many levels. . . .
first, is there anyone in this country who truly believes there is a danger of a shortage of sugar in this country?
“The United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) reports that the average American consumes anywhere between 150 to 170 pounds of simple sugars, also known as refined sugars (this includes glucose, fructose, and sucrose) or simple carbohydrates, in one year!
You may be thinking, “I do not consume that much.” Well, it is also said that for every American who eats only 5 pounds of sugar each year, there is one who eats about 295 pounds per year. … Less than 100 years ago, the average intake of sugar was only about 4 pounds per person per year.
… To break it down even more, eating 150-170 pounds of sugar in one year is also equivalent to consuming 1/4 to 1/2 pounds of sugar each day. Don’t think consuming this amount of sugar is easy to achieve?” read this
secondly, if you’re not familiar with monsanto, you should be. a brief explanation: monsanto is a company that became enormously successful and powerful by genetically engineering our food seeds – that is, pumping them full of pesticides – then they patented the seeds. they are currently in the process of patenting animals as well.
but here is the important part – when their seeds contaminate other farmers fields, which is very often (birds carry seeds as does wind and rain), monsanto’s genetically engineered plants sprout up uninvited. now the other farmer is unwillingly growing genetically engineered foods and contaminating his crops with plants full of pesticide. this renders all organic crops now, non-organic – which is destructive on it’s own accord – but to add insult to injury, MONSANTO THEN SUES THE FARMERS FOR PATENT INFRINGEMENT BECAUSE HIS PATENTED CHEMICAL FILLED SEEDS ARE GROWING ON THEIR LAND!
because the law is law, judges have no choice but to agree that the farmers are raising patented crops and force farmers into destroying their fields, collapsing their business in the process. soon monsanto will OWN most produce (and working on the animals) in this country – oh, & these seeds made their way to the other continents as well. soon you will have no choice but to eat the pesticide.
monsantos products include Agent Orange, PCBs, DDT, recombinant bovine growth hormone (rBGH) and Aspartame.
in 2010, company sales were 10.5 billion dollars and monsanto has 27,600 employees.
if you care to know more, read this or you can find it on wikipedia.
if you care about this, please sign this.
thanks.
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“I’m outraged that a genetically engineered alfalfa will contaminate the South Dakota alfalfa seed that has been developed over generations. Bees pollinate alfalfa, and we know that bees can forage for miles. The introduction of genetically engineered alfalfa practically guarantees that there will be no genetically engineered-free seed in a matter of a few years.”
“There’s a pattern that is noxious and toxic to the traditional American way of life. This is not good for American people. You’re losing food safety and property rights simultaneously. And the beneficiaries of this are not human beings with a conscious. They’re corporate boardroom financial reports.”
– Pat Trask
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“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.”
– HH Dalai Lama
7:30 am sitting on the couch just trying to recall the last time i saw the sun, i check facebook. there is a post from my cousin. she lives in ireland with her man and six children. yes, 6. she posted this:
“7 am Rowan wee’s his bed, 9am charlie pukes on the stairs (the only carpeted area in the house) 10am jude shits in his pants and still hot water not working, oh and the broken car window.”
i feel better now. thanks jeanne. 🙂
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“Reality is the #1 cause of insanity among those who are in contact with it”
– unknown
the trenta. a drink that can’t fit in your stomach? oy.
“The obvious deduction is that the drink is targeted to people whose stomachs are already stretched and strained by obesity.” story
“Nowadays the world is becoming increasingly materialistic, and mankind is reaching toward the very zenith of external progress, driven by an insatiable desire for power and vast possessions. Yet by this vain striving for perfection in a world where everything is relative, they wander even further away from inward peace and happiness of the mind.”
-Dalai Lama
“The moment one gives close attention to anything, even a blade of grass, it becomes a mysterious, awesome, indescribably magnificent world in itself.”
– Henry Miller