de-magnatize me, please

the mac computer that my friend gave me just about a year ago when my 2 year old – $1600 computer died, has just about completed it’s life in this world. although i’m not a doctor,  i would give it another 2 weeks to live.

i do have a notebook with very little memory and storage capacity for use in emergencies, and at least it gets me online – except when it doesn’t.  in this case, it’s the service, not the notebook which is the problem.  my connection speed is so unbearably slow it actually hurts my brain to check my e-mail.  i called time warner cable on monday to remedy the situation.  after all of the usual button pushing, confirming the nature of the problem (to assure i would be directed to the right department), my account number, phone number, name, address and health history, a woman got on the line and made me verbally repeat same. she then proceeded to tell me she would transfer me to the right department.

it came as no surprise that i was put on hold for 9 minutes, being that the right department had to be located somewhere in the himalayas.  when the man with a heavy indian accent answered the phone, he asked me to repeat all of the information i had already twice offered.  i was expecting this and therefore able to keep my blood pressure at bay – that is until i understood that  my  accent was too heavy for him to comprehend my words correctly.  eventually he preformed a speed test (www.speedtest.net) on my connection  to make sure it met the minimum speed of 30.  the results came in at 17.   after a total of 30 minutes on the phone with time warner cable, he informed me i had a problem.  he then offered to set an appointment for a tech to come to my place on saturday.  that was on monday.  it is now friday and my connection speed is 11.

my phone, generously given to me by another friend when my last iphone died may, or may not, be ok.   i think it’s the service, not actually the phone, that makes it unbearable to have a conversation.  the  crackling and “underwater” sound effects almost always cause the conversation to be cut short, as it’s just too painful.

although i do not have cable tv, i used to get channels 2 – 12.  recently, they mysteriously vanished – along with my camera battery charger.  this was within days of the death of my ipod.

i am sure that i am somehow magnetized and electromagnetic frequencies are unable to perform in my presence.  today i will use the computer at the public library to investigate if there is some kind of exorcism for  this condition.

(more on this condition here)

“Dear, eyelashes, wishbones, dandelions, pennies, shooting stars, 11:11, and birthday candles,  DO YOUR JOB.”
 ~  unknown