have you ever been so exhausted that you drank your coffee standing up, in the shower?
me either. until today.
Everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else.
~ Will Rogers
have you ever been so exhausted that you drank your coffee standing up, in the shower?
me either. until today.
Everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else.
~ Will Rogers
still funny after all these years . . . . (i think).
for several years i’ve been wanting to do a little bit of volunteer work. since i work from home, waste no time commuting and never take a ‘lunch’, i could easily take an hour or two out of my day to do some good for someone, somewhere. being a big sister was high on my list. taking a kid to the zoo in central park would be fun. or clothes shopping every once in a while, maybe buying an outfit for their first day of school – i would love that. i would teach my little sister all of the things she may not have the opportunity to learn in her present environment, like the value of an education and why proper nutrition is so important. then we could hang out at my place and read wayne dyer’s kids books and concoct extreme salads! it would be great. or, now that i live right across the street from the…
View original post 1,970 more words
A guest staying at a boutique Flatiron hotel was slammed against a sidewalk by the hotel manager after she broke the front door, police said.
The 27-year-old woman, a tourist from Los Angeles who was staying at MAve Hotel on East 27th Street and Madison Avenue, returned at 4 a.m. on Sept. 9 to find the door locked, according to police.
She began kicking it to get someone’s attention, cracking it in the process, according to authorities.
Hearing the commotion, a manager of the hotel, a 37-year-old man, chased after the guest and repeatedly slammed her against the pavement and held her down by putting his arm across her torso, police said.
The woman suffered a cut on her shoulder, according to the NYPD.
Both were arrested by police shortly after. The woman was taken to Bellevue Hospital for treatment, officials said. more
“your level of consciousness is governed by how nice you are.”
~ matt kahn
woman talking on phone on e. 73rd street:
“only hookers wear red lipstick. only puerto ricans wear red nail polish”
“you’re only 21; you ain’t been out there. you don’t know nothing.”
walking on east 63rd street:
3 year old boy asks mom,
“why are there so many streets?”
mom: “what do you mean?”
boy: “why are there so many streets???”
mom: “do you mean why are there so many streets in manhattan?”
boy: “no, why are there so many streets in the bronx?”
on the m15 bus going up first avenue:
mother slathers 2 year old’s hands with purell.
2 year old boy promptly licks palm & announces:
“that tastes good.”
on 2nd ave at 47th street :
man in suit walking with woman also in a business suit:
“is this 42nd street?”
the bus headed uptown on first ave:
3 year old child told his mother;
“he was dead and he couldn’t walk so he had to go to the hospital.”
on the sidewalk of east 52nd street:
when asked where his young son goes to pre-school;
man #1: “sutton place temple.”
man #2: “is it true that the more money you give at temple, the closer you get to sit to the menorah?”
corner of 53rd street & 3rd avenue:
woman on phone – late 50ish – heavy new yawk accent;
“did you eat?”
“are you full?”
“are you sure?”
2nd ave & 58th street:
teenager asked mother, “who is ed koch?”
50th street & 3rd avenue on st. patrick’s day:
20 something girl #1: “i’ve never been to a st. patrick’s day parade.”
20 something girl #2: “neither have i. i didn’t even know there
51th street & 2nd avenue on st. patrick’s day:
me: “it’s crazy out here.”
doorman: “yeah, it’s a beautiful day to throw up.”
1st avenue at 56th st:
2 moms, 2 strollers, 2 two year old children;
mom #1: “how does he like camp?”
mom #2: “i don’t know, he never tells me anything.”
while shooting pix with my canon 7d on park avenue:
“she has a better camera than you”
straight from the birmingham alabama
new york city news comes a red hot story of theft in the city. we should all remain vigilant and be on the look out.
A woman was caught on video swiping a lucky horseshoe from an Upper East Side barbershop after walking around the shop taking photos with a cellphone.
The culprit was standing outside the shop when Rebzovic caught up to her, he said. Rebzovic demanded she return the item and when she obliged, he let her walk away, he said.
The horseshoe has since been returned to its original place.
if you see this woman, please be aware she is armed with a horseshoe and potentially very lucky. (click on picture below for more details!)
“Just as treasures are uncovered from the earth, so virtue appears from good deeds, and wisdom appears from a pure and peaceful mind.”
i can’t be the only one who has personally witnessed some slight exaggerations from weather peeps when there may be some impending weather-activity; am i right?
here we go again . . . . the weather according to cnn:
“This could be a storm the likes of which we’ve never seen before,” said New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio.
Whatever terrible storms New Yorkers have experienced in the past, “prepare for something worse,” he said.
Earlier Sunday, the National Weather Services upgraded its blizzard watch to a blizzard warning for the area from northern New Jersey through southern Connecticut, including New York City. Twenty to 30 inches of snow is possible with winds gusting 55 to 65 mph.
“Weather forecast for tonight: dark.”
~ George Carlin
it’s tourist season and midtown is over flowing with shoppers, sight-seers, celebrity seekers and tree gazers!
it’s a good thing for the city – not so much for the residents. from december through january things become all discombobulated for the locals because tourists disrupt the flow. it’s nothing that can’t be fixed and it’s not even their fault. they are simply unaware of a few simple things. when travelling into the city, i’ve noticed that at the bridge & tunnel tolls, it’s always the cars with out of state plates in the ‘cash only’ lanes – the regulars have ez-pass. i’m thinking that a small list of “instructions” printed on the back of the bridge & tunnel receipts would be a great invention because it could list the rules and then they would know. since that’s not the case, i will post them here.
don’t think – just cross the street.
crossing the street in midtown is similar to participating in a game of football. there are two sides, face to face, waiting for the ‘go ahead.’ the difference is that in midtown, each team has anywhere from 25 – 50 people on each side where in football, there are only 11 on each side. during the months of february through november, when the light says walk, the ‘teams’ advance towards each other and effortlessly manage to get to the other side of the street without knocking into anyone. they’re used to it; they don’t get nervous and foot traffic just flows. on the other hand, in december and january, i believe that during the 2-3 minute wait between light changes, tourists get super focused on the opposing team which makes them nervous. their brain begins to wonder how they will manage to cross the street through all those people about to charge towards them, and they begin to map out a strategy. as soon as the light changes, they follow their mind map. because they could never predict the mind maps of the opposing team, it turns into a giant cluster of frustrated people bumping into each other, scared they will never reach the other side safely. weird but true.
when you see a pretty store window, something shiny that catches your eye or a homeless person, do not just stop in the middle of the sidewalk. this causes mid-sidewalk collisions and then you leave the city thinking ny’ers are rude.
wear your comfy flat walking shoes or you will regret it. and know that the people in the flat comfy walking shoes are the ones who must walk on the grates. women in heels have the right of way on the sidewalk whenever a grate presents itself. there is no need to worry about falling through the grates and landing in the pathway of an oncoming subway, seriously.
It is a man’s own mind, not his enemy or foe, that lures him to evil ways.
it was 15 years ago today that ivan and i made the trip down 2nd avenue from the humane society to e. 55th street, where we lived for his first two years. it didn’t take long for me to realize he was my family. we were inseparable and i loved him with all my heart. almost every memory i have of the last 15 years includes ivan. we moved to california together, drove across the entire usa together, lived in westfield, nj, on the 5th floor of a walk-up on 83rd street, shared the tiniest apartment ever on east 73rd street, moved to bedminster, nj and back to the city again.
on march 20th of this year, at 11:36 am, ivan went to heaven and my heart broke in half.
i always have, and always will, love you billions times infinity boo. xo
who goes inside a bank anymore? well, yesterday i did and as you would probably suspect, i was the only customer inside. when entering my bank from the street, you pass through the atm room where 99% of the people bank, and then open a door and round a corner to get to the real inside of the bank where the tellers are located. as i opened the door between the atm room and the actual bank, i heard someone singing the magilla gorilla song! i did not want her to become startled by the sight of a customer and stop singing, so i stopped before rounding the corner so that she would finish the song. as it turned out, i remembered every single word. when i came around the corner, i saw 3 bank tellers sitting behind the glass partition with absolutely nothing to do other than sing the magilla gorilla song and i had to make a split second guess as to which was the singer because i definitely wanted to go to her window. as luck would have it, i picked the right one and we ended up singing the magilla gorilla song together. after that we sang the mr. ed song. who would have expected this kind of happiness in the middle of a tuesday?
if you have no idea what this post is about, we could probably never be really good friends.
this sure must be easier than having to pack and unpack all those boxes. . . .
Traffic is only one of the side effects of growth.
~ Roy Barnes
lao tzu said, “at the center of your being you have the answer; you know who you are and you know what you want.”
today i will practice this advice and keep you posted. wish me luck!
When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.
~ Lao Tzu
the upside is, i’m sure i would be rail thin if i lived in this 78 square foot apartment, since keeping food isn’t really a convenient option.
i’m just not sure the bathroom sharing thing would work for me.
The ache for home lives in all of us, the safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned.
~ Maya Angelou
this is todays view from my window. it’s a very large hole they have created on 1st avenue – right outside my bedroom. that may explain why they felt it was necessary to start jack hammering at 6:00 am.
The White House’s new security plan: Lock the front door
every time i see a headline like this i wish i worked at the new york post. it has to be fun . . . . seriously though, if the peeps in dc need some high level security tips, i suggest they just spend the week in nyc during the general assembly – which happens to be this week.
i’ve been out sniper seeking with my zoom lens since saturday and haven’t seen 1 sniper. these guys are good.
i’m not sure what the mission of these people is, but they are scattered about the sidewalks near the united nations building. they look like they have bombs strapped all over themselves and i have to believe this would effectively keep people from trying to break in to the white house.
they do not like having their pictures taken either.
another effective tactic used by the diplomats to keep people away, is extreme noise. i’m sure they do it on purpose so it must have something to do with their country’s security operations. wherever a foreign diplomat decides to go, he is preceded by and followed by, an entourage of black suburbans with lights flashing and very loud sirens. this goes on all day long. entourages en route to the u.n. for morning meetings, entourages at lunchtime, entourages escorting their diplomat back to the hotel after daily sessions, and entourages chauffeuring diplomats all around town for dinner and nightly entertainment – all with excruciatingly loud sirens. i believe the strategy here is simple sleep deprivation. i know because i live just 3 blocks up first avenue from the united nations and i am just too tired to consider jumping the fence and breaking in the front door.
during the week of the general assembly there is no parking either. every street in the neighborhood is lined with signs like this:
if you live between 40th and 55th streets from the east river over to third avenue, you may not be able to go home if there happens to be a diplomat having a meeting, a meal or a cocktail on your street. on each corner are stationed between 6 – 12 very young rookie cops, whose mission it is to question people to death and check i.d.’s before letting them step foot onto their own block to go home after a long day at work. i’ve noticed that if you are 20 something, female and beautiful, the young rookie cops will hold you up for twice the amount of time than they detain others. just an observation that probably has nothing to do with security.
I am thankful the most important key in history was invented. It’s not the key to your house, your car, your boat, your safety deposit box, your bike lock or your private community. It’s the key to order, sanity, and peace of mind. The key is ‘Delete.’
~ Elayne Boosler
3 stretch limos waited outside, 2 already occupied by joan’s two assistants and some family members who preceded melisa and cooper. shortly after 10:30 am, melissa & cooper left joan’s home at 1 east 62nd street.
a beautiful display of flowers and tributes covered half of the entrance to the building.
i arrived at temple emanu el before the limos and if it were not for the m-1 city buses interrupting the view from the press camp located all the way across the avenue, i would have been able to show you more pictures. how did they not close 5th avenue?? this was joan rivers’ funeral! of course, the peeps from nbc, cbs, cnn, people magazine, ect… had anticipated this and came armed with ladders. i spent 2 hours looking for tiny spaces in between ladder rungs, tripods and body parts trying to secure spot large enough to fit my lens through. lesson learned.
all of the news media peeps were in crews. there were reporters, camera peeps, videographers and the assistants uploading live feed onto their computers. by now you’ve no doubt already seen the celebrity arrivals in pictures splashed all over the news so i won’t bore you with mine, but i will tell you about the parts of the ceremony that the big outlets didn’t dwell on.
the lane of roadway closest to the temple was reserved for cars and limos dropping off guests – most had drivers. then there was the person who pulled up in a beautiful light green maybach. i couldn’t see who it was as the view was obstructed by a double decker tourist bus filled with people taking pictures of the crowds and people in the press pit. it was pretty comical as they focused on the press camp and never thought to look across the street where all the celebrities were wandering about. back to the maybach. apparently the guest who arrived in the maybach drove himself. he must be used to having a driver as he forgot to take his keys when he exited his car. for the following 30 minutes or so, the maybach blocked the entrance to the to the temple so the following guests had to get out of their cars up the block and walk to the entrance. It took about 8 cops and two tow trucks, further obstructing my view, to jimmy the locks on the maybach and drive it away.
just one hour after the service began, the front doors to the temple opened and out poured well over a dozen bag-pipers. for this, they closed fifth avenue and i was grateful for the unobstructed views – until the bagpipers lined up directly in front to me.
they played as melissa and cooper got into the their limo.
all the other guests followed melissa out of the temple and waited for their drivers to arrive with their car.
then – the second most amazing thing happened. a cop moved the barrier and allowed the press to cross the street. aproximately 3 seconds later, i was standing in the middle of a crowd of people that included whoopie goldberg, matthew broderick, charlie rose, barbara walters, kathy lee, and all the rest. i wasn’t exactly sure what to do so i stood back and thought i would observe the pros from abc, nbc, cbs, ect., and then just do what they did. each ‘team’ sent a reporter to a celeb and asked some questions while the camera person filmed and a third person uploaded the story for ‘live coverage.’ i did not have a crew. should i just walk up to geraldo or kelly osbourne and start asking questions? before i had time to answer my own question, matthew broderick walked by and i concentrated solely on the photo op.
i knew sara jessica parker couldn’t be far behind so i stood still and scanned the crowd until i saw her heading my way. she was just several feet away from me when the first most amazing thing happened – – my camera died! it just stopped. i tried to remain cool while i frantically turned my camera on and off several dozen times; dug through my bag for the spare and changed the battery; dug through my bag again for the second spare and loaded that battery; changed the settings . . . . and everything else i could think of. . . . .
i finally came to understand it was simply my electronic disorder rearing it’s ugly head at the worst possible time, and tried not to cry. then i went home.
here are some of the shots i managed to get prior to the death of my most favorite possession . . . .
rest easy, joan – i hope the celebration was everything you wished for.
“I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.”
~ Joan Rivers
(Re-post from 2009)
One of the coolest things about living in the city is that you never know what or who you will see each time you leave home. I just returned from taking Ivan for a spin around the block, last pee for the evening. I was in a funky mood and found myself ruminating on my single-ness. I hate when I allow myself to get this way, but this is the way I was tonight. As I walked south on First Avenue from 74th towards 73rd Street, I noticed a cute young couple gaily walking toward me with a very adorable puggle. People with dogs always notice people with dogs. It’s not unusual for dog owners to stop and chat with each other. I’m pretty sure that’s the reason most single people in NY have dogs to begin with. It’s an excuse to be able to talk to people you don’t know. I was not in the mood to talk to a happy couple.
Campagnolas Italian Restaurant is in the middle of the block between 73rd and 74th Streets. Outside the restaurant sits a bench for people dining in Campagnola’s to use while they smoke or wait for their table. There were several people sitting on the bench. As we walked toward each other, the “love birds with puggle,” neared the bench. The folks on the bench called the dog over and began to play the pooch. The puppy owners began to laugh hysterically. The folks on the bench were puggle-petting and laughing. Everyone was just so happy. Except me. As I passed by, naturally I looked at the people, all reveling in laughter, playing with the cute pup. Sitting on the bench was Robin Williams petting the puggle! Dam it, if I had walked just 15 seconds faster it could have been Ivan.
I consoled myself with a frozen yogurt from tasti-delite and reminded Ivan that he had in the past been pet by both Paul McCartney and Brook Shields.
you made everyone laugh so hard – what a good job you did here. you will be so missed. rest easy, robin williams.
You know what music is? God’s little reminder that there’s something else besides us in this universe; harmonic connection between all living beings, every where, even the stars.
~ Robin Williams
in nyc you’ll find people of all colors, shapes & sizes – animals too. since most residents ‘weekend out east‘, on sunday, i hung out with this guy in central park.
“Life was never meant to be a struggle, just a gentle progression from one point to another, much like walking through a valley on a sunny day.”
~ Stewart Wilde
in the event you were planning a vacation to the city, you may want to re-think your travel plans – or at least stay on top of this story from the post . . . . .
Help, my giant poisonous spider is missing — and she’s pregnant!
A hairy Mexican red rump tarantula named Penelope is on the loose in Park Slope. . . . “She’s mostly active at night and she tends to hide in dark corners,” . . . On the sign, the pet owner asks whoever finds her to put her in a “tupperware bowl” with holes, so she can breathe.
When you seek it, you cannot find it.
~ Zen Proverb
last night i was on the phone with a friend when a call from an 800 number beeped in. assuming it was a telemarketer i ignored the call. earlier today, i realized that i had a message from the 800# call last night. it was katelin from ticketmaster. she wanted to verify that i had authorized a $967.80 debit card charge for tickets to the miami heat / nets game last evening.
the first question that came to mind was, is that baseball or basketball? the next thought i had was, why would i authorize a charge for $967.80 when i had less than $500 in my bank account?
i now have negative $457.
No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path.