jersey!

you’ll probably only find this laugh-out-loud hysterical if you’re from jersey.  all others advised to skip this page lest you think my sense of humor is somewhat off.

You know you’re from
Jersey when . . .

You don’t think of fruit when people mention “The Oranges.” 
You know that it’s called Great Adventure, not Six Flags. 
A good, quick breakfast is a hard roll with butter. 
You’ve known the way to Seaside Heights since you were seven. 
You’ve eaten at a diner, when you were stoned or drunk, 
at 3 A.M. 

Your big class trip in elementary school was to Morristown

One time, a sea gull shit on your head.

Even your school made good Italian subs.

You’ve run out of money on the Parkway.
You’re Italian.

You’ve been to a party in the woods.
You know that the state isn’t one big oil refinery. 
At least three people in your family still love Bruce Springsteen, and 
you know the town Jon Bon Jovi is from. 
You know what a “jug handle” is. 
You know that WaWa is a convenience store. 

You know that there are no “beaches” in New Jersey –there’s the shore–and you don’t go “to the shore,” you go “down the shore.” And when you are there, you’re not “at the shore”; you are “down the shore.” 
You know how to properly negotiate a circle. 
You knew that the last sentence had to do with driving. 

You know that this is the only “New” state that doesn’t require “New” to identify it (try . . Mexico . . . York ..! . . Hampshire– doesn’t work, does it?). 
You know that a ” White Castle ” is the name of BOTH a fast food chain AND a fast food sandwich. 
You consider putting mayo on a corned beef sandwich a sacrilege. 
You don’t think “What exit?” is very funny. 
You know that people from the 609 area code are “a little different.”
Yes they are! 

You know that no respectable New Jerseyan goes to Princeton –that’s for out-of-staters. 
The Jets-Giants game has started fights at your school or local bar. 
You live within 20 minutes of at least three different malls. 
You refer to all highways and interstates by their numbers. 
Every year you have at least one kid in your class named Tony . 
You know the location of every clip shown in the 
Sopranos opening credits. 

You’ve gotten on the wrong highway trying to get out of the mall. 
You know that people from North Jersey go to Seaside Heights , and people from Central Jersey go to Belmar, and people from South Jersey go to Wildwood 
It can be no other way. 

You weren’t raised in New Jersey –you were raised in either North 
Jersey, Central Jersey or South Jersey 
You don’t consider Newark or Camden to actually be part of the state. 
You remember the stores Korvette’s, Two Guys, Rickel’s, Channel, Bamberger’sand Orbach’s. 
You also remember Palisades Amusement Park . 
You’ve had a boardwalk cheese steak and vinegar fries. 

You think the Olive Garden is crap and should have never opened any restaurants in New Jersey.

You have or know someone with mafia connections too
You start planning for Memorial Day weekend in February. 
And finally . . 
You NEVER, NEVER NEVER, EVER 
pump your own gas.

 ~ author unknown

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Every moment and every event of every man’s life on earth plants something in his soul.
– Thomas Merton
Orange512