Tag Archives: reality tv

east 52nd street reality show

2 months after i moved into my first doorman building, the doormen went on strike.  along with the strike came no more ups deliveries (or any other union organization services like verizon, garbage pickup, con-edison) broken laundry machines,   foul odors from rotting garbage, rodents and many other inconvenient features i could easily have in a much lower rent, non-doorman building.    

a temporary staff of inexperienced people willing to work for minimum wages was put in place for the last 18 months.  the application process consisted of responding to an ad on craigslist and telling the owner of the staffing company what the name on the weekly paycheck should be.  it should be noted that the owner of the staffing company, modern staffing and security, has a criminal record for indecent exposure, writing worthless checks, theft of state funds, lewd & lascivious behavior as well as a long list of liens and judgments against him)  yes, he would be in charge of staffing the building with people who have complete access to our building as well as the resident’s keys.  most residents claimed their spare keys quickly and many others simply moved out.  to add levity to a disastrous situation, the east 52nd street reality show was born.  
all of the stories are true.

[Note to reader: Building Residents are referred to as Resident Cast Members or, RCM’s,  William Koeppel is the devious owner of the building and James Rexroat is the owner of Modern Staffing & Security, the company in charge of the replacement staff]

The Ultimate in a Full Service Building!

Here at East 52nd Street all of the cast & crew have been given the opportunity to pay exorbitant rents in exchange for services that truly go above and beyond other doorman buildings in midtown.   For instance, the doorman will graciously give your key to anyone, just for the asking. Where else can one get that kind of service? Only at 350!

[scene: Early on a Saturday morning,  Resident Cast Member X (RCM-X) sits with his coffee and his thoughts in the privacy of his own living room at 350 East 52nd Street. To the shock and surprise of RCM-X, the door to his apartment opens and in walks a complete stranger.  Scene begins with RCM-X flying off couch in surprise as steaming hot coffee spills onto couch, carpet and self]

RCM-X:  OMG! Jesus Christ!  Who are you??? What are you doing in my apartment?

Stranger:  I don’t know.

RCM-X:  Get the [bleep!] out of my home –


Stranger scurries back into hallway.  

After calming heart palpitations and icing burns on body, RCM-X storms down to lobby where he finds new weekend doorman who appears to be about 17 years old.   RCM-X asks the child “manning” the lobby how the [bleep!] someone had the key to RCM – X’s [bleeping] apartment and what the [bleep] was going on?  The door-child was pretty close to a complete loss for words and then offered the following explanation:  They asked me for the keys.

RCM-X:  So you just gave them my keys?

Door-Child:  Yes.

RCM-X:   What he [bleep] is wrong with you?

About this time RCM-L returns from morning walk with dog and enters lobby of 350.

RCM-X says to RCM-L,  This guy just gave my keys to a complete stranger who just walked into my apartment!  What should I do?

RCM-L:  Someone just walked in on you in your apartment?  Did you call the police?  I would call the police.

RCM-X  turns to door-child and demands he find the stranger –  ”NOW!” and stranger is summoned to lobby for questioning.  Door-child begins shaking and tells self how sorry he is. He becomes wrought with fear over the possibility of losing his job after only 3 weekends on duty. Both Resident Cast Members take a few seconds to contemplate the moment.  Suddenly, the intruding stranger emerges from elevator bank and rounds the corner into the lobby to answer to RCM-X.

RCM-X: How did you get the keys to my apartment?  Who are you?

Stranger:  I asked the doorman for them. I hope I didn’t  get him in trouble – this was a mistake.

RCM-X:  Who are you???

Stranger:  Charlene.

RCM-X:  Why did you have the keys to my apartment?  Do you live here? Do you know anyone who lives in this building? Have you ever been to this building before?  Do you know the doorman?  How did you even get in the building?

Charlene explains to the irate RCM that she did not live in the building, had never been to the building before, did not know the door-child, had come to clean an apartment on the 2nd floor and apparently there had been a mistake at the “office”, as they had instructed her to go to apartment 12-X rather than 2-X.

RCM-X  asked Charlene the name of her cleaning company to which Charlene replied,  Well it’s really just me and my husband. We advertise our cleaning services on Craigslist and someone from this building called. When my husband got the call, he must have wrote [sic] down the wrong apartment number.

RCM-X:  So you don’t know the person who called you, you have never been to 350 East 52nd Street before, you ran an ad on Craigslist and the doorman just handed you my keys?

Charlene:  Yes, I hope I didn’t get him in trouble.

Modern Staffing employees, who are only required to write their first and last name on a post it and have no proper training, do not warrant their ability to provide the tenants with a safe and secure environment, commiserate with the advertised “Luxury Living” standard. Tenants shall look solely to Modern Staffing and William Koeppel who shall remain liable for the personal safety as well as any and all incidental, consequential or special damages arising out of their failure to provide “Luxury Living” standards tenants were promised.

Note from the Sponsor: We have advised both Modern Staffing and William Koeppell on several occasions of the vast array of problems (see past episodes-especially ARREST) and they have steadfastly refused to conduct basic background checks, train the new staff, or responds to any of our complaints.

more of my favorite episodes can be found here, here, here & here.

obstacles and all,  i remain eternally committed to being zen in the city. 

“Chaos is inherent in all compounded things. Strive on with diligence.”
 ~ Buddha 


be sure to check our show!


is tv insane? or do insane people watch tv?

i see commercials occassionally for all of the absurd tv shows on these days. i try not to think about them as it really makes me sad when i think about the mental state of the people who actually watch them.  i found “untold stories of the e.r.” and i’m actually embarrassed to say i thought it may be interesting. the first story was about a 22 year old girl who goes to the emergency room on a regular basis for abdominal pain. she’s been there 9 times in the last 6 months. she also eats 6 rolls of toilet paper daily.

it is so interesting to me that enough people actually watch these shows to keep them on air. i looked up how many reality tv shows are currently on.  what i found is astounding – here is the list:

The $25 Million Dollar Hoax
Fear is Real
16 & Pregnant
18 Kids & Counting
30 Days
30 Seconds of Fame
50 Cent: The Money and the Power
8th & Ocean
A Double Shot at Love
A Model Life with Petra Nemcova
A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila
Adventures in Hollyhood
Age of Love
The Agency
All American Girl
The Amazing Race
America’s Most Smartest Model
America’s Next Muppet
America’s Next Producer
America’s Next Top Model
America’s Toughest Jobs
American Chopper
American Gladiators
American Hot Rod
American Idol
American Loggers
American Dream Derby
American Inventor
American Juniors
Amish In The City
The Anna Nicole Show
Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations
Anything For Love
The Apprentice
The Celebrity Apprentice 2
The Apprentice: Martha Stewart
Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader?
Are You Hot?
Armed & Famous
Arranged Marriage
The Ashlee Simpson Show
Ashley Paige: Bikini or Bust
The Assistant
Average Joe
Ax Men
The Baby Borrowers
The Bachelor
The Bachelorette 5
The Bad Girls Club
Baldwin Hills
Battleground Earth
Battle of the Network Reality Stars
Beauty And The Geek
Beg, Borrow & Deal 2
Being Bobby Brown
The Benefactor
Better Half
The Beverly Hillbillies
Big Brother
The Biggest Loser: Special Edition
Big Man on Campus
Bindi: The Jungle Girl
The Block
Blonde Charity Mafia
Blow Out
Boarding House: North Shore
Boot Camp
Born Country
Boy Meets Boy
Brat Camp
Breaking Bonaduce
Bridget’s Sexiest Beaches
Britain’s Got Talent
Britney And Kevin: Chaotic
The Buried Life
But The Sex Is So Good
Cake Boss
Can You Duet?
Canadian Idol
The Casino
Celebrity Circus
Celebrity Cooking Showdown
Celebrity Duets
Celebrity Fit Club
Celebrity Fit Club 5
Celebrity Mole Hawaii
Celebrity Mole Yucatan
Celebrity Rap Superstar
Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew
Change of Heart
Chasing Farrah
The Chopping Block
The City
Clash of the Choirs
The Club
Cold Turkey
College Life
College Hill
The Colony
Combat Missions
The Complex
Confessions of a Matchmaker
Confessions of a Teen Idol
The Contender
Criss Angel Mindfreak
Croc Hunter Challenge
The Crocodile Hunter
Crowned: The Mother of All Pageants
The Cut
Daisy of Love
Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders: Making the Team
Dance Machine
Dance War: Bruno vs. Carrie Ann
Dance Fever
Dancing with the Stars
Date My House
Dating in the Dark
The Dating Experiment
DEADeadliest Catch
Deal Or No Deal
Deion & Pilar: Prime Time Love
Denise Richards: It’s Complicated
Destination Truth
Destroyed in Seconds
The Detonators
Dice Undisputed
DietTribe Dinner: Impossible
Dirty Jobs
Dog The Bounty Hunter
Dog Whisperer
Dog Eat Dog
Don’t Forget the Lyrics!
Double Exposure
Dr. Steve-O
Dream Job
Dress My Nest
Driving Force
Eddie Griffin: Going for Broke
ego trip’s The (White) Rapper Show
Engaged and Underage
Estate of Panic
Ex-Wives Club
The Exterminators
Extreme Makeover
Extreme Makeover: Home Edition
The Family
Family Foreman
Family Business
Family Plots
Farmer Wants a Wife
The Fashion Show
The Fashionista Diaries
Fast Cars & Superstars
Fat March
Fear Factor
The First 48
Flavor of Love
Flip This House
Flipping Out
Food Detectives
For Better Or For Worse
Forever Eden
For Love Or Money
From G’s to Gents
Funniest Mom in America
Gay, Straight or Taken?
Gene Simmons Family Jewels
Ghost Hunters
Ghost Hunters International
Gimme My Reality Show!
The Girls Next Door
Giuliana & Bill
Giving Hope
Gone Country
Gone Too Far
Grease: You’re the One That I Want
Great American Road Trip
Greatest American Dog
Growing Up Gotti
Hard Knocks
Harlem Heights
Have Fork, Will Travel
Hell Date
Hell’s Kitchen
Here Come the Newlyweds
He’s A Lady
Hey Paula
HGTV Design Star
High School Musical: Summer Session
High School Reunion
The Hills
Hit Me Baby One More Time
Hogan Knows Best
Hole in the Wall
Holmes on Homes
Homeland Security USA
Hooked Up
Hope for Your Home
House Rules
How to Look Good Naked
Howie Do It
Hulk Hogan’s Celebrity Championship Wrestling
I Can Make You Thin
I Love Money
I Love New York
I Propose
I Survived a Japanese Game Show
I Wanna Be a Soap Star
I Want To Be A Hilton
I Want to Work for Diddy
I’m a Celebrity – Get Me Out of Here!
I’m From Rolling Stone
I’ve Got Nothing to Wear
Ice Road Truckers
In Harm’s Way
In Search of the Partridge Family
Into the Unknown with Josh Bernstein
Invasion Iowa
Iron Chef America
The It Factor
The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency
Joe Millionaire
The Joe Schmo Show
Jon & Kate Plus 8
Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List
Keeping Up with the Kardashians
Kell on Earth
Keyshawn Johnson: Tackling Design
Kid Nation
Kimora: Life in the Fab Lane
King of Cars
King of the Crown
Kitchen Nightmares
Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami
LA Ink
Lady or a Tramp
Laguna Beach
Last One Standing
The Last Resort
Launch My Line
The Law Firm
Leave it to Lamas
Life of Ryan
The Little Couple
Little People, Big World
The Littlest Groom
Living Lohan
Liza & David
The Locator
Looking for Love: Bachelorettes in Alaska
Love Cruise
Love Shack
Luke’s Parental Advisory
Mad Mad House
Make Me a Supermodel
Making It Home: Greensburg
Making Menudo
Making News: Texas Style
Making The Band
Man vs. Wild
Married By America
Master of Dance
Maui Fever
Meerkat Manor
Meet Mister Mom
Meet My Folks
Meet The Barkers
Megan Wants a Millionaire
Miami Social
Million Dollar Listing
The Millionaire Matchmaker
Miracle Workers
Miss America: Reality Check
Model Citizens
Models NYC
The Moment of Truth
Momma’s Boys
Monster Garage
More to Love
Moving Up
Mr. Personality
Mr. Romance
Murder in Small Town X
Must Love Kids
My Big Redneck Wedding
My Dad Is Better Than Your Dad
My Super Sweet 16
My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss
My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiance
My Fair Brady
My Life Is A Sitcom
Nanny 911
NASCAR in Primetime
Nashville Star
The Mole
National Bingo Night
New York Goes to Hollywood
Newlyweds: Nick & Jessica
Newport Harbor: The Real Orange County
The Next Best Thing
The Next Great American Band
The Next Iron Chef
Next Action Star
The Next Great Champ
The Next Joe Millionaire
No Boundaries
NYC Prep
The One: Making a Music Star
One Big Happy Family
One Ocean View
The One Who Got Away
On The Lot
Oprah’s Big Give
The Osbournes
Outback Jack
Outsider’s Inn
Pageant Place
Pam: Girl on the Loose
Pantry Raid
The Paper
The Next Food Network Star
Paranormal Cops
Paranormal State
Paris Hilton’s My New BFF
Parking Wars
The Partner
Party Monsters: Cabo
Pepsi Play for a Billion
Perfect Match: New York
Performing As…
The Pick-Up Artist
Pimp My Ride
Pirate Master
The Player
Playing It Straight
Police Women of Broward County
PoweR Girls
The Price of Beauty
The Principal’s Office
Project Runway 6
Property Ladder
Push, Nevada
Pussycat Dolls Present: The Search for the Next Doll
Queer Eye For The Straight Girl
Queer Eye For The Straight Guy
R U The Girl With T-Boz & Chilli
Race To The Altar
The Rachel Zoe Project
Randy Jackson Presents: America’s Best Dance Crew
Project Greenlight
Real Chance of Love: Back in the Saddle
The Real Gilligan’s Island
The Real Housewives of Atlanta
The Real Housewives of New Jersey
The Real Housewives of New York City
The Real Housewives of Orange County
The Real Roseanne Show
The Real Wedding Crashers
The Real World: Austin
The Real World: Back to New York
The Real World: Boston
The Real World: Brooklyn
The Real World: Chicago
The Real World: Hollywood
The Real World: Key West
The Real World: Las Vegas
The Real World: Los Angeles
The Real World: New Orleans
The Real World: New York
The Real World: Paris
The Real World: PhiladelphiaThe Real World: San Diego
The Real World: San Francisco
The Real World: Seattle
The Real World: Sydney
Reality Racing – The Rookie Challenge
The Rebel Billionaire
Renovate My Family
The Restaurant
Rich Guy, Poor Guy
Rich Girls
Road Rules
Road Rules: South Pacific
Road Rules: X-TREME
The Road To Stardom With Missy Elliott
Rob & Amber: Against the Odds
Rob and Big
Rob And Amber Get Married
Rock of Love Bus with Bret Michaels
Rock of Love Charm School with Sharon Osbourne
Rock of Love with Bret Michaels
Rock the Cradle
Rock Star: INXS
Rock Star: Supernova
Run’s House
Running in Heels
Say Yes to the Dress
Scare Tactics
The Scholar
Scott Baio is 45… And Single
Scream Queens
The Search for the Next Elvira
The Search For The Most Talented Kid In America
Second Chance: America’s Most Talented Senior
The Secret Life of a Soccer Mom
Secret Millionaire
Secret Talents of the Stars
Sell This House
Sex Rehab with Dr. Drew
Sex in the Itty Bitty City
Shaq’s Big Challenge
The Shark Tank
She’s Got the Look
Shear Genius
Shooting Sizemore
The Simple Life
The Singing Office
Skating With Celebrities
Smash Lab
Snoop Dogg’s Father Hood
So You Think You Can Dance
Sorority Life
Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Model Search
The Springer Hustle
The Stagers
The Starlet
Star Search
Starting Over
Step It Up & Dance
Storm Chasers
Street Customs
Style Her Famous
Sunday Best
Sunset Tan
Super Millionaire
The Superstars
Superstars of Dance
Superstar USA
Surf Girls
The Surreal Life
Survivor 20
The Swan
Tabatha’s Salon Takeover
Table For 12
Take Home Nanny
Taquita & Kaui
Taxicab Confessions
Temptation Island
That’s Amore
There Goes the Neighborhood
There’s Something About Miriam
Til Death Do Us Part: Carmen & Dave
Tim Gunn’s Guide to Style
Toddlers and Tiaras
Todd TV
Tommy Lee Goes To College
Tool Academy
Top Chef
Top Chef Masters
Top Chef: Las Vegas
Top Chef: New York
Top Design
Top Gear
Tori & Dean: Inn Love
Tough Love
Tough Enough
Toughest Race on Earth: Iditarod
Trading Spaces
Trading Spouses
Treasure Quest
Treasure Hunters
Trick It Out
Trick My Truck
Trick My Trucker
Trista & Ryan’s Wedding
True Beauty
Tuesday Night Book Club
The Two Coreys
Ty Murray’s Celebrity Bull Riding Challenge
UFO Hunters
The Ultimate Coyote Ugly Search 3
Undercover Boss
Under One Roof
Varsity Inc.
Victoria Beckham: Coming to America
The Victoria?s Secret Fashion Show
Viva La Bam
Walk the Lion
Wanna Bet
WCG Ultimate Gamer
The Weakest Link
Welcome to the Parker
Welcome To The Neighborhood
Whale Wars

it should be noted that while watching these shows, people are deluged with commercials for things like pizza with cheese stuffed crusts or giant pasta filled bread bowls with free cake for dessert, all you can eat buffet restaurants, pepto bismal, tums, every available prescription drug on the market and coming attractions for new reality shows.


“My interest is in the future because I am going to spend the rest of my life there”
 – Charles F. Kettering